Saturday, December 10, 2011

Kings Hair Problems: Coincidence? I Think Not.

As much as Kings fans were all happy to see Movember end, it hasn't been the best of times for the Kings in the injury department. Maybe I'm just superstitious, but I'm starting to think the Kings problems may have to do with -- hair.

Richards and Mitchell both mentioned some hesitation about shaving their moustaches. First game of December with no facial hair? BOTH injured.

Then Kopitar -- the Kings own Samson himself -- goes and chops off his golden curls before the Minnesota Wild game Thursday.

And what happened?

Kopitar, luckily, was not hurt. But LUCKY is the key word because that hit was U-G-L-Y. Maybe you don't see this near miss as a sign from the Hockey Gods, but The Queen does. Therefore, I issue the following proclamations to the hockey players in my Kingdom.
  1. Hair alteration of any kind is now FORBIDDEN in the Kingdom for the month of December.
  2. All razors, scissors and other instruments used to trim human hair are forthwith banned from the Kings locker room, chartered jet, hotel rooms and all other travel locations.
  3. Kings equipment management will issue Trent Hunter a Ryan Smyth mullet wig until he manages to grow hair of his own.
This team is supposed to be HAIRY folks. This has to be the answer! Because if it isn't, The Queen will have finished pulling hers out by the end of the season.


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