Friday, February 3, 2012

Kings vs Blues: The Royal Half Shoots And Scores!

So the Kings started their six game road trip tonight, and I have to admit I was a little worried. The Blues are a VERY different team under new head coach Ken Hitchcock and the Central Division has not been kind to us this year. Sadly, I wasn't expecting a win, but I guess I was hoping I'd be wrong.
Here's what went through my mind during the game....

Pre-game and First Period
Shit, the Blues have won A LOT of games at home -- wish we could do that.
Please God, let's not get "Halak'ed" tonight....
Man, Kien Hitchcock's voice DOES NOT match his body at all.
No goals in 30 games Lokti? You're SO much better than that.
If I see one more blog about "Clockgate" I'm gonna....oh wait, I'm writing one.....
OK, we got 5 shots off pretty quick. Maybe this will be OK.
Richards, Penner and Clifford. It's either gonna be epic or like the Three Stooges out there.
"Kopitar gets leveled." Gee, thanks Nick Nickson. Kings, can we maybe keep Kopi from getting tripled teamed?
No more chances for Langenbrunner please, he's too close for comfort.
Uh, what happened to our shot total boys? Have we hear of puck possession?
Penner got bumped hard and lost the puck? *shocked*
Kings outshot 11-1? in 14 minutes? YIKES
It's only the end of the first and I'm already seeing a cocktail in my future.....

Second Period
"Clifford trying to feed Penner..." -- I could say something but I won't.
Jesus, Jason Arnott is still playing. Isn't he the oldest active player in the League or something?
The Blues are playing their first game in 10 days and out-shooting the Kings. Apparently they don't know what rust is.
Jackman is a GREAT hockey name.
The Blues have 9 SHUTOUTS this season? 9?
Guys, I TOLD YOU to keep the puck away from Langenrbunner!!!!!!!!!!!!! No surprise he scored.
Damn Drewster, did it have to be you?
At least the Blues have SOMETHING in common with us -- a sucky power play.
I think if Richards can just get a shorty to happen, the rest of the goals will come.
AND we finally get a power play. Here's your chance Drew....
We are ABSOLUTELY getting Halak'ed on this power play.
I'm gonna need chocolate. Very soon.
Halak isn't even in the crease and manages to stop the damn puck! Kill me now.

Third Period
Blues are 20-1-1 when leading after two periods. We are SCREWED.
Clifford is leading the team in shots. This explains EVERYTHING.
Now I'm snacking. Salt & vinegar chips to start. The chocolate is next.
Brownie can't get a goal, but he can still hit. Jason Arnott is too old to handle that Brownie.
Is ANYTHING POSITIVE going to happen for us in this game?
Even Williams can't get a goal! Halak'ed AGAIN!
Shit, I knew I should have started drinking....

You know, I really hate it when I'm right. I predicted the Kings would lose 2-1 in OT. I gave them too much credit. We couldn't even get ONE goal. Final score 1-0.

For my favorite tweets of the evening, I had to start with a collection of epic missives from The Royal Half. Simply en fuego tonight on the comedy front!

Dennis Bernstein from The Fourth Period got in a few choice digs as well, even if the second one is a Captain Obvious statement.

And finally, some other choice gems.  

Although this one is possibly my favorite tweet of the night....

The Kings are back in action tomorrow. On a Saturday. Lord help us. At least it's only a bunch of Hurricanes. How bad can that be?


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